Why Some Pumpkins Cry

Simone held her breath and titled the baby blue candle so that the wax dripped out. It landed in an oozing trail just below the left eye on the freshly carved jack-o-lantern, and she blew on it to make it cool faster. When she felt satisfied, she titled the candle again underneath the right eye before stepping back to admire her work.

The jack-o-lantern stared up at her through teary eyes, it’s crooked, gap-toothed smile now looking more like a grimace. Satisfied with the change in its appearance, Simone put the candle back inside the pumpkin from where she’d gotten it and turned around just in time to see her older sister, Elizabeth, step onto the porch.

“See my costume, Simone? The blood on my face looks real, doesn’t it? Aunt Nora said I look too bloody for an eight-year-old, but Uncle Ralph said it’s perfect. Don’t you think it’s scary?”

“The blood doesn’t look real,” Simone said. “It’s too red.”

“Blood is supposed to be red, Silly Simone. But you wouldn’t know that because you’re just a little kid. Why aren’t you wearing your costume yet?”

“I don’t want to go trick-or-treating as an angel again. It’s no fun. I want to be scary like you.”

“Well, you’re only seven,” Elizabeth said. “But maybe next year when you’re eight like me, Aunt Nora will let you be a zombie too.”

Simone didn’t answer. Elizabeth kept glancing at the jack-o-lantern so Simone had to keep swaying from side to side to keep her older sister from seeing it. She knew Elizabeth would tell their aunt and then Simone would have to explain why she’d made it look like it was crying. She was tired of explaining why all the time. Like the time she’d taken a photo of herself and Elizabeth and painted on it.

“Why did you paint yourself blue, Simone?” Aunt Nora had asked. “Didn’t you think you looked pretty enough?”

When she didn’t answer right away, Elizabeth had chimed in. “And why did you paint me orange? I hate orange.”

Unable to resist, Simone had whispered. “Because you want attention.”

But she wished she hadn’t said so because that only made them ask more questions. What made her think that Elizabeth wanted attention? Why did orange mean that? And if orange meant that Elizabeth wanted attention, then what did blue mean?

“Silly Simone, why do you keep moving like that?” Elizabeth asked. “Come on,” she grabbed Simone’s hand. “Let’s go find your costume.”

An hour later, Simone was wearing a white dress that came to her knees, white panty hose, a pair of white, see-through wings, and had a silver halo attached as a headband hovering above her head. Aunt Nora had used baby powder to make her face look “soft and pretty” and then applied some red lipstick. Simone couldn’t imagine a more ridiculous looking angel, and she said so too.

“But you look beautiful,” Aunt Nora said. “You should be more confident.”

“Angels don’t really look like this, you know,” Simone said.

“What makes you say that?”

Again with the questions. Simone turned away from the mirror. “I don’t know,” she mumbled. “I just don’t think so.”

Aunt Nora stared at her for a long moment before finally smiling. “You know, your mother once told me that angels looked like the clear blue sky.” Her smile faded a little. “She wasn’t the same person after your father left.”

Simone looked up at her aunt. “Is that why you ask so many questions?”

“Does it bother you?”

“Sometimes.” Simone nodded.

Aunt Nora knelt down and took Simone’s hands. “I’m sorry,” she said, and then added, “But even if you don’t look like a real angel, you still look like an angel to me.”

Simone’s face brightened and she gave her Aunt Nora a hug. Together, they went down stairs and got Elizabeth, and then the three of them got in the car to go trick-or-treating. Simone never really liked Halloween. She couldn’t figure out why she had to say “trick or treat” because when the people didn’t answer, she never played a trick on them. And even though Elizabeth wanted to, Aunt Nora wouldn’t let her.

They drove through town, zigzagging through streets, one block after the next. “Trick or treat,” they’d say, and smiling adults would throw Snickers, Milky Way, Three Muskateers, and M&Ms into their pillowcases. Elizabeth screamed for the car to go faster to the next block, and Simone just rolled her eyes.

When they reached the end of a long street, Aunt Nora pulled the car over. “Elizabeth, keep an eye on your little sister,” she said. “This road forms a U-shape, so you can go down this road, follow the bend around, and then I’ll pick you up at the end of the next road, OK?”

“All right, all right,” Elizabeth said, already stepping out of the car. “Come on, Simone. Hurry up.”

Elizabeth grabbed her hand and they ran to the first house. While they waited for the people to answer the door, Simone glanced down the road and saw that all the porch lights were lit except for one house way down at the end. After getting full-sized Hershey bars from an old lady, the ran to the next house, and then the next after that.

“Isn’t this great?” Elizabeth asked. “These people really give good candy.”

“Yeah,” Simone agreed and looked into her pillowcase to see at least five full-sized candy bars on the top.

So they continued down the street, getting either full or even king-sized chocolate bars from each of the houses until they came to the one whose porch light wasn’t turned on.

“Let’s just skip this one, Elizabeth,” Simone said. “They’re probably not there.”

“That’s why I wanna check,” Elizabeth replied, smiling through the fake stitches and blood on her face.

“No,” Simone insisted and grabbed her sister’s arm. “Please, Elizabeth?”

“Be quiet, Silly Simone,” Elizabeth said and jerked her arm away. “I’m older, I know what I’m doing. If you’re too scared, then just wait by the mailbox.”

Dropping her pillowcase on the ground, Simone crossed her arms over her chest while Elizabeth walked up the porch steps. She knocked but no one answered.

“I told you no one was home!”

Elizabeth turned around long enough to stick her tongue out at Simone and then knocked on the door again. This time when no answer came, Elizabeth stepped back from the door.

“Come on, let’s go,” Simone called.

“No,” Elizabeth said. “It’s trick or treat, and I didn’t get a treat.”

“But Aunt Nora said you weren’t allowed to play tricks.”

Elizabeth smiled once again. “But Aunt Nora’s waiting for us at the end of the road where she won’t be able to see.”

“I’ll tell!”

“No, you won’t, Silly Simone, or I’ll beat you up.”

Simone stood at the mailbox, not sure whether she wanted to pull her sister’s hair or cry, while Elizabeth tiptoed over to the neighbor’s house and stole one of the jack-o-lanterns off the porch. This, she carried back to the house where nobody was home.

“What are you going to do?” Simone asked.

“Just watch and see,” Elizabeth replied, and lifted the pumpkin over her head.

It slammed down on the wooden porch and burst into pieces with a sickening thud that Simone could barely hear over the sound of her big sister’s laughing. She couldn’t take it anymore.

“Elizabeth, you idiot! I’m telling Aunt Nora!”

Not waiting to see or hear her sister’s response, Simone darted around the bend.

“Don’t you dare!” Elizabeth shouted from behind her.

Already Simone could hear her sister’s boots slamming off the gravel road behind her. Elizabeth had always been the fastest, so instead of running straight for the end of the road, Simone ran between some bushes in front of one of the houses and cut across the lawn to the backyard. She wouldn’t go straight to Aunt Nora because Elizabeth would get there first and probably make up some story. All Simone really wanted to do was go home, and she knew that would take awhile. It was at least ten blocks, maybe more. Still, she had to be careful in case Elizabeth was still chasing her, so she ran through people’s yards instead of going on the sidewalks.

Why did Elizabeth have to do that? It was just a pumpkin. It hadn’t done anything to her. And what if the candle caught the porch on fire? Then they’d be in real trouble.

Simone ran past houses decorated with orange and purple lights. Some had fake spider webs on them, others had ghosts hanging from trees. And some were dark, undecorated, and uninviting. Her legs felt heavy, like she was running through water, but she kept going. Her street was just ahead.

When her house came into view, she saw that the porch light was still on and the jack-o-lantern still lit, but the driveway was empty. She figured that maybe Uncle Ralph had gone out looking for her and it made her feel a little sad. She’d been hoping he was still home so she could tell him what happened.

With nothing else to do, she sat on the porch next to her pumpkin, its baby blue tears still frozen in place, eternally dripping down the orange face. She knew how it felt. This was the worst Halloween she’d ever had. And she since she’d left her pillowcase on the side walk, she didn’t even have any candy to show for it.

The minutes passed. Simone didn’t have a watch, but she could see that the candle inside the pumpkin had gotten lower. When were they going to come home? She thought she could cry but she didn’t really want to, so instead she lay down next to the jack-o-lantern and watched the candle inside flicker each time she breathed out. The candle had almost burnt itself out by the time someone came home. Simone lifted her head when she saw the headlights, and a moment later, Aunt Nora stepped out of the car. Elizabeth wasn’t with her.

“Simone, thank God!” she said, running up the porch steps and pulling Simone into a hug. “We were so worried about you! Why did you run away?”

Simone clung to her aunt as tight as she could and didn’t answer. But Aunt Nora pulled away after a minute or two.

“You know better than that.”

“I’m sorry, Aunt Nora,” Simone said. “But Elizabeth was going to beat me up, so I ran home.”

“Why was Elizabeth going to beat you up? She told me you accidentally broke someone’s pumpkin.”

“That’s not true.” Simone’s indignation flared. “She broke the pumpkin and it wasn’t an accident. And then she said if I told she’d beat me up, so I ran away.”

Simone scooted away from her aunt and crossed her arms. She just knew this was going to happen. Elizabeth got away with everything.

“I see,” Aunt Nora said, and she really did look like she was thinking about it. “Come here, Simone.”

Simone hesitated.

“You’re not in trouble,” Aunt Nora reassured her. “I just want to talk to you and I don’t want to have to yell across the porch. Please?”

Reluctantly, Simone approached her aunt and sat down next to her, but for a long time, Aunt Nora didn’t say anything. She looked really sad though.

“I hate Halloween,” Simone admitted.

For some reason, that made Aunt Nora smile. “Your mother never liked it either. She said it was too silly.”

“Maybe that’s why I don’t like it either.”

Aunt Nora nodded and looked away. Her eyes fell on the pumpkin. “Did you do that?” she asked, tracing the tears with her index finger.

Simone nodded.

“Why?”

“Because the pumpkin’s sad,” Simone said.

“But it’s smiling,” Aunt Nora said. “How can you tell it’s sad?”

Simone looked away from her aunt’s curious eyes. “You’re asking too many questions again.”

This time Aunt Nora laughed. “Your mother used to tell me that too.”

“She did?”

“Yeah,” Aunt Nora said. “She used to call me Nosy Nora when we were little.”

“Like Elizabeth.”

“What do you mean?”

“She calls me Silly Simone sometimes.”

Aunt Nora patted Simone’s hand. “I’ll have to talk to her about that.”

“It’s all right,” Simone said. “I don’t mind. It makes her feel like the big sister.”

They fell into silence for a while, and Aunt Nora looked sad again. Simone wondered where Uncle Ralph and Elizabeth were, but she didn’t want to ask. Finally, Aunt Nora looked up again.

“Do you know why I ask you so many questions, Simone?”

“You wanna know why Mommy jumped.” Simone’s reply surprised herself. But as soon as she said it, she figured it was probably right.

Twin tears trailed down Aunt Nora’s face, almost the same way they did on the jack-o-lantern, and she pulled Simone into a hug.

“That’s true,” she whispered. She held Simone in a deep hug for a long time and didn’t let go until Simone started to fidget. When they separated, Aunt Nora held Simone’s shoulders and looked into her eyes.

“Please tell me why the pumpkin is crying.”

Simone looked at the waxy tears again as she thought about it, trying to figure out how to explain what she felt.

“It’s crying because someone took out its heart,” she heard herself say. “And it’s smiling because that’s what people expect.” She looked into her aunt’s teary eyes. “I think Mommy might’ve felt the same way when Daddy left.”

“Simone…” Aunt Nora said, crying freely now. But she didn’t get to finish her sentence because Uncle Ralph’s car pulled into the driveway and Elizabeth jumped out.

“There you are,” Elizabeth shouted and gave Simone a hug. “I knew you were OK.”

She handed Simone a pillowcase full of candy. “Uncle Ralph took me trick-or-treating some more, and I brought your pillowcase with me and got you more candy too.”

Simone smiled and Uncle Ralph lifted a finger. “What do you tell your sister, Simone.”

“Thank you for the candy, Elizabeth,” she said and gave her sister another hug, forgetting all about the smashed pumpkin.

Elizabeth grinned and ran in the house. “I’m gonna go count mine,” she said as the screen door crashed shut behind her.

Aunt Nora stood up and Uncle Ralph saw the tears on her face.

“What’s the matter?” he asked her.

Aunt Nora shook her head. “Nothing,” she said. “I was just thinking about something.” She gave Simone a wink on her way inside.

Alone on the porch again, Simone picked up her pillowcase full of candy and climbed to her feet. She glanced at the crying pumpkin, watching the shadows dance across the porch as the candle inside fluttered. She took a deep breath, bent down, and blew the candle out, before following her family inside.