Flipper's First Date

Ed “Flipper” Grommet loved women. He loved all kinds of women. He loved blondes, brunettes, red heads, and silvery haired maidens. He loved tall women, he loved short women. He loved fat women, he loved skinny women. He loved women of all colors of the rainbow, whether they were sixteen or sixty. He loved the way they smelled, the way they walked, the way they carried themselves in conversation. He loved the crystal sound of a young girl’s voice, and the rasp of an older one. He loved the way they would tuck their long hair behind their ears, or the way they’d shave their head so he could see the outline of their skulls. He loved the way their red lips left evidence of their presence on plastic straws and cigarette filters. He loved the way they wore their jeans, their shirts, their dresses, their shoes. He loved it when a girl wore a baseball cap. He loved seeing a group of women together, laughing. He loved the way they could cry when hearing about something sad. He loved to hear a pretty girl swear. He loved women. He loved all women. He couldn’t help it; he was a ladies’ man.

Of course, women weren’t too enthralled with Ed. No matter what line he used, what cologne he wore, or how desperate the women looked, they all turned down his date proposals. He didn’t understand it. He had it all. He was a smart guy. He had a job. His clothes were clean.

“Maybe it’s my arms,” Ed said one day, sitting in a lawn chair outside his tiny rent house.

“What arms, Ed?” Bob, his best friend asked.

He sat across from Ed, sipping on a green apple slushy, pausing occasionally to put a hand on his forehead, bracing himself against a brain freeze.

“Exactly,” he said and flexed his fingers.

Ed had a condition known as phocomelia, a birth defect that caused him to be born without arms. Instead, fingers sprouted from his shoulders, each finger webbed, and flapping like little flippers. He was twenty-two years-old. He’d come to terms with his lack of arms, though his childhood nickname of “Flipper” still irked him. His lack of arms made things a bit harder, but nothing was impossible. He graduated from high school, moved out of his parents’ house. He even had a job as a telemarketer. As far as Ed was concerned, he lived a pretty normal life.

“There’s bound to be someone out there,” Bob said, slurping from his slushy and grimacing, the straw sticking to his bottom lip. He clasped his forehead. “Oh no, it’s a bad one,” he said.

“Nope,” Ed said, “there isn’t. I’ve asked them all. No woman wants anything to do with me.” He flapped his flippers and sighed. “I’m destined to be alone.”

Bob’s eyes were squeezed shut, riding out the last of the brain freeze. When it was over, he looked at his lifelong friend.

“You haven’t asked everyone.”

Ed nodded. “I’ve asked them all. Every woman in town. They’ve all turned me down.” “You haven’t asked everyone,” Bob repeated.

Ed flipped his fingers absently, “Who else is there?”

Bob slurped, swallowed, and wiped a green glob off his bottom lip.

“A new girl is moving in down the street from my parents’ house. Sorta pretty. Maybe twenty-five.”

“Really?” Ed asked excited, then his face fell. “Aw, who cares? What makes you think she’ll be any different than any of the other girls around here?”

Bob smiled around his straw. He looked up at his friend and said, “She’s blind.”

Ed and Bob walked briskly down the sidewalk. Bob panted, walking double time to keep up with Ed’s pace. Ed’s flippers flapped as he walked.

“Okay,” Ed said, “You’re sure she’s blind?”

“Yep,” Bob panted, “Blind from birth. She’s never seen a thing in her life.”

“That’s fantastic!”

“Her house is right up here. There was a large two-story house sitting on a plush green lawn. A mover’s truck sat in front of it and a trio of men in gray uniforms packed furniture and cardboard boxes from the truck into the garage. A large porch stretched across the front of the house. Boxes were piled next to the door. And sitting on a swing suspended from the roof, sat the woman of Ed’s dreams.

“Look at her!” Ed said. She sat in a yellow sundress, a ribbon tied around the waist. She was neither too large nor too skinny, with thick brown hair sitting on top of her head. She wore a pair of dark glasses, and her face was spotted randomly with freckles. A soft spread of peach fuzz lay on her upper lip, and her arms were covered in dark hair. Her hands were clasped in her lap. Her feet, underneath the swing, were crossed at the ankles.

“Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?” Ed asked.

Bob nodded.

Ed and Bob walked toward the girl. They stood just below the steps, staring up at her in awe. A part of Ed reminded himself that this was his last chance. This was the last girl in the entire town. Nervously, his fingers waved. One of the movers caught sight of him and jabbed another one in the ribs, pointing.

“Are you going to say something?” the girl on the swing asked.

Ed turned on Bob, his mouth open, his eyes wide. He whispered, “You said she was blind!”

“I am,” she said her face angled toward them. “But I heard your friend panting like a dog.”

Ed leaned over and swatted at his friend’s shoulder with his fingers. “Thanks a lot, Bob!”

“You walk too fast!” Bob said.

“You’re not trying to rob me, are you?” the girl asked. Her forehead furled.

Ed looked back to the beauty on the swing and shook his head, “No, no, no!” he said. “I’m sorry. My name is Edward. My friend, Bob here, told me about a beautiful woman who moved onto this street and I had to see her for myself.”

The girl smiled. “He did, huh?”

“He did,” Ed agreed. “And he underestimated your beauty. You are by far the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen in my life.”

The girl’s smile widened. “That’s sweet.”

Ed turned to Bob and Bob gave him the thumbs up sign.

“Your name is Edward?”

“Yes, but you can call me Ed. Everyone does.”

“Alright, Ed. My name is Ann.”

“Oh, Ann!” Ed exclaimed. “What a perfect name! It just rolls off the tongue.”

“And you must be Bob,” Ann said to Bob.

“Yes, ma’am. I’m Bob.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Ann said.

“You too.”

“So,” Ann said, “is there something I can help you guys with?”

Ed looked at Bob, and then took a step up onto the porch.

“Yes, Ann, yes! There is! I came by because, being that you’re new in town, I was wondering if you’d be interested in allowing me to show you around –”

Bob jumped up and down, shaking his head wildly, waving his arms.

Ed corrected, “Er, I mean, not show you around. I mean, I could take you out somewhere. Maybe see a movie – ”

Bob slapped his forehead.

“I mean, listen to a movie. I mean, maybe we could – ”

“I like to dance,” Ann interrupted. “Is there somewhere to dance in this town?”

Ed turned on his friend, his eyes wide, his heart stopped. “Dancing? Sure!” he said. “I know a great dance club!”

“Great!” Ann said. “When?”

“Um,” Ed looked at Bob. He had never gotten this far with a woman before. Bob shrugged his shoulders. “Um, how about tomorrow?”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow, Ed,” Ann said standing up from the swing.

Ed cocked his head at her. “How will you see --" but before he could ask (and a good thing, probably), she stepped inside.

The door shut. Ed turned around and walked up the street. Bob followed, jogging at times to keep up. When they made it to the end of the block, well beyond sight of Ann's house, Ed turned to Bob.

“Bob,” he said. “She. Said. Yes.”

Ed leapt into the air like a pogo stick, his fingers flapping like wings.

"She said yes, she said yes!"

He bounced around, flapping his fingers and then suddenly, he stopped.

"What is it, Ed?" Bob asked.

"Bob, she said yes."

"Yes, she did!"

"What am I going to do?"

Bob paused, his smile slowly melting. "What do you mean? You're going to go out with her."

"I've never gone out with someone before. What do I do? What do I wear? What do I -- Oh my god, what about my arms?"

"You don't have arms, Ed," Bob told him.

"I know that, Bob, I know I don't have arms! That's my point. What do I do when she realizes that I don't have arms?"

"Well, she's going to find out eventually. I'd just tell her. You should be honest about these things."

"No!" Ed shouted. "She can't find out!"

"You can't hide something like this," Bob said.

Ed's eyes opened wide, a smile spread over his face. "No! I can hide things from her for as long as I want. She's blind!"

"But, Ed," Bob said, "You said you would take her dancing. She is bound to find out."

Ed paced back and forth; if he had arms, he would have stroked his chin in contemplation, but since he did not, he simply stood there.

"I need to think, Bob. I need to think."

"I don't think it's a good idea to try to hide it," Bob said.

"What do you know? You have never dated a woman like Ann before." Ed paced back and forth, his flippers flapping. "I've got it!"

"What is it?"

"I will borrow your arms," Ed said.

Bob took a step back and glanced sideways at Ed. "What are you talking about?"

"Yes, Bob, I will borrow your arms at the dance,"

Bob shook his head, his eyes wide with fear. Ed saw this and nodded, "Yes, you will come with me on my date with Ann. You will be there. And as we dance, it will be you who puts your arms around her, and it will be you that holds her hand in the seat."

"But I thought it was supposed to be your date," Bob said.

"It will be my date. I will be there the entire time. I only need your arms, Bob. I will be there to get to know Ann. I will be there to walk with her. I will be there to kiss her goodnight."

"I don't know," Bob said.

"Trust me," Ed said, "I've got the whole thing figured out."

Folks on the sidewalk stopped in their tracks as Ed and Bob came toward them. Ed walked quickly, assured, a little nervous, but ready to start his date. Bob walked directly behind him, careful as to not get his feet stepped on. The two men were strapped across the chest and stomach and around the legs, tethered together with about a dozen belts and bungee cords. Bob, being shorter than Ed, walked blindly with his face shoved into Ed's back, his arms held out in front of him like a zombie.

"This isn't going to work," Bob said.

"It's going to work, just keep quiet,” Ed said.

"She's going to know that I'm here."

"She won't if you stay quiet."

"Ed, I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Don't worry. We're turning left now. Onto her sidewalk, so shush."

They walked in unison toward her porch.

Ed muttered, "One, two, one, two, one, two, step up, step up, step up."

They stopped in front of her door. Ed stared at the white paint for a few moments, smiling dumbly at it.

"Bob," Ed said. "Can you please knock on the door?"

Blindly, Bob's arm reached out and rapped on the girl's door.

"Thank you, Bob."

"You’re welcome, Ed."

There were several moments of silence, and then the door opened and Ed laid eyes on Ann.

"Ed?" she said.

She was wearing a red and white striped dress that was poofy in the shoulders and flared around the knees. She still wore her dark sunglasses over her eyes and in her hand was a red cane with a white tip.

"Good evening, Ann. You are looking more beautiful today than I remembered you being."

"You’re sweet, Ed," Ann said. "And how are you tonight, Bob?"

Ed's eyes opened wide. Both of their breaths caught in their throats, and Ed finally had to step back on Bob's foot to get him to say anything.

"I'm good, Ann. How are you?"

"Wonderful."

"How did you know Bob was here, Ann?"

"I could hear Bob's breathing. He's a panter."

Ed frowned at this news and stamped his foot down on top of Bob's.

"Well, I, uh, was going to come alone, but Bob looked so pathetic sitting at home with nothing to do. So I said he could come along."

Bob sighed against Ed's back. "Yes, I'm very lonely."

"I hope you don't mind," Ed said.

Ann smiled. "Of course not. Shall we get started?"

"Of course," Ed said. "After you."

Bob held his arms out and brushed Ann's arms. She smiled, and walked ahead of him, tapping her cane against the porch and steps as she made her way down to the sidewalk.

"Did you bring a car?" she asked, her face upturned as though she was examining the roofs of the houses along the street.

"Actually," Ed said, "I thought we could walk. The club isn't too far."

"Sounds great," Ann said.

Ed smiled. The date had started, and despite the fact that she knew Bob was there, it had started well. With confidence, he strutted forward; Bob strapped behind him, and chatted with his girl.

Ed (and Bob) walked Ann to a dance club known as The Pet Shop. The Pet Shop sat on the corner of the block and had its windows painted on the outside to resemble an animal shelter with sad looking puppies and kittens begging to be brought home. A neon beer sign ran above the windows. Ed tried to describe everything as best he could, but he was never sure if he was using words that would paint a picture of the scene in her mind. She said that she understood, but Ed wasn't convinced.

Inside, the music was already pumping. A loud, steady bass beat filled the air, rattling the beer glasses at the tables near the front and shaking Ed's heart in his chest. There weren't many people in the club yet, being so early in the evening. Past the bar and sitting area was the dance floor, a large hardwood platform in which pink, blue, and green lights scrolled over the three dancers already grooving. A long-haired deejay sat in a booth beyond the dance floor, holding a set of headphones to the side of his head and nodding his head to the beat.

"Nice," Ann shouted over the sound of the music.

"You should see it," Ed said.

Ed (and Bob) led Ann to one of the tables furthest from the dance floor, where the vibrations weren't quite as bad.

"Buy you a drink?" Ed asked.

Ann agreed, and so Ed (and Bob) walked to the bartender, a bleached blond with a goatee and a dangling dolphin earring.

"How's it going, m -- " the bartender stopped when he saw Ed with Bob's arms jutting out from underneath his flippers. "Men?"

"Good evening," Ed said, "can I get two beers?"

"Three," Bob said behind Ed's back.

"Two," Ed corrected.

"I want a beer, too," Bob insisted.

"You can't," Ed argued, "you only have two hands. How would we carry them?"

"Darn," Bob said.

Ed turned back to the bartender. "Two beers."

The bartender seemed hesitant at first, but produced two foam cups of beer, and slid them across to Bob’s waiting hands sitting on the bar.

“That’ll be five bucks,” the bartender said.

Ed stood staring at the man, smiling. Bob held the beer, and the bartender waited.

“Five bucks,” the bartender repeated.

“Bob!” Ed snapped.

“What?”

“Five dollars!”

“My hands are full!” Bob whined.

“Well, I wish I had hands! Or did you forget the reason you’re strapped to my back?”

Bob sighed and sat the cups of beer down on the bar, then fished into his own back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He produced a five and dropped it on the bar.

“No tip?” Ed asked. "I don't want to look cheap."

Bob sighed again, reached into his wallet and pulled out two singles.

“Here,” he said.

“Thanks,” said the bartender.

“Your welcome,” said Ed.

Bob shoved his wallet back into his pants and then grabbed the foam cups. They walked back to the table where Ann was sitting, her head bobbing to the music. She sat holding her cane in front of her, the lights from the dance floor washing over her face.

“Your drink, m’lady,” Ed said as Bob struggled to find Ann’s hand. Eventually, her hand brushed the cup and she was able to take it from him. Bob sat the other cup down. Ed watched Ann take a drink and wanted a sip from his own, but thought that Bob needed a moment to cool down.

“It’s good,” Ann said.

“Mmm, yes,” Ed said, staring down into the amber liquid.

“I like this song,” Ann said.

“Would you care to dance?” Ed asked.

“I’d love to,” Ann said.

The three of them stood up. Bob took Ann’s hand and they led her to the dance floor. The song was slow, and two other couples stood on the dance floor, wrapped up in each other’s arms, slowly swaying to the music.

Ed, Bob, and Ann stopped in the center of the dance floor, and Bob lifted Ann’s hands up and over Ed’s flippers. She laced her fingers around Ed’s neck. Ed leaned in close to her, and Bob put his hands on her hips. They began swaying then. Ann was smiling.

‘This is so nice, Ed,” Ann said.

Ed smiled and blushed, and Ann leaned her head forward onto his chest. And Ann and Ed and Bob danced and danced.

They danced through one slow song, then a couple of fast ones. After a while, people began to fill the dance club, and more and more people saw the blind woman and the two men strapped together dancing. Bob saw their faces, his own face still smashed up against Ed's sweating back. Ann pretended not to notice, but Ed could feel her tensing up around him as they danced. After a dozen songs or so, Ann and Ed and Bob walked back to the table and ordered more beers. They drank (Ed began ordering beers with straws in them) and talked, but around them, they could still hear the taunts and jeers from some of the other dancers.

After three drinks, with Ann already getting tipsy, and after two guys walked by, pointed at Ed and Bob and called them “Siamese Twins,” Ann asked, “Ed, do you have the time?”

“No," he said, "I don’t wear a watch.”

“Well,” she said. “Would you be offended if I asked you to take me home early?”

“Oh,” he said, his face falling. “I understand. Are you not having a good time, Ann?”

“I’m having a wonderful time. But it’s getting late. And perhaps we could sit on my porch swing and chat without having to yell.”

Ed smiled again. “That sounds lovely.”

“What do you think, Bob?” Ann asked.

“Fine,” Bob muttered.

And the three stood up from their table, Ann with her cane, and began walking back to her place.

They sat on the porch swing for more than an hour talking. Ann swung slightly back and forth as Ed sat in Bob’s lap and listened. She told them about going to college and moving east. She talked about her favorite flowers (irises) and how she was quite the accomplished flautist. Ed listened, loving Ann more and more with every word she uttered. As she spoke though, and as Bob sat with his hand on her knee, he began to think about the fact that he had yet to put one finger on her beautiful face. A part of him was becoming quite jealous of Bob, who sat underneath him, grunting when Ed shifted his weight, but who also got to hold Ann’s hand. He began thinking about the texture of her dark hair, the way it would feel to run his webbed fingers through it. He thought about the shape of her hips, and the way Bob’s hands had rested on them.

Ann yawned. “I want to thank you for asking me out tonight, Ed.”

“Oh, Ann, the pleasure has been mine,” Ed said.

“You know,” she said, “Oftentimes, men see that I’m blind and are afraid to get close to me. They’re afraid to ask me out.”

“Their loss is my gain.”

She yawned again. “You’re sweet.”

She leaned over. Ed bent his fingers down flat against his chest, and she rested her head on his shoulder. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, his heart pounding in his chest. She was so close to the truth! He waited, tense, to see if she would notice anything different about him, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she began to breathe slower, deeper. In a few minutes, Ed realized that Ann had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder.

He smiled. How had he ever been so lucky to find such an angel? And how was it that he was sitting in this porch swing next to her? He had to be the luckiest man in the entire world. He thought for just a moment of all of the other men in the world, those that were spending the evening alone or with someone who was far inferior to the pure being sitting beside him on the swing. His heart went out to those other men. Those poor other men who would always have to settle for less than the best.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ed watched his sleeping angel. And as he watched her, he couldn’t help himself any longer. He had to touch her. There was no better time. She was asleep now and wouldn’t notice if he just touched her cheek…

Slowly, holding his breath, he uncurled his webbed fingers, reached up, and brushed Ann’s chin. The tips of his fingers lightly caressed her lower lip, and then –

“WHAT WAS THAT!” Ann shouted, recoiling back from Ed.

“What?” Ed clambered out of the swing, pulling Bob, who was also dozing with him.

“Something touched me!” Ann said, wiping at her mouth, a look of utter disgust on her face.

Something, she had said.

“Ann, I’ve got to be going!” Ed blurted.

He wished his fingers were longer. He wanted nothing more than to rip the belts and cords tethering him to Bob and just run down the street, fleeing this house, this place. He felt like Frankenstein's monster.

“You do?”

“Yes,” he said. “I’ve got to be going.”

Ann’s face fell. “Well, thank you for a wonderful evening.”

“You’re welcome,” Ed said, and he and Bob began walking toward the steps.

“No goodnight kiss?” Ann asked.

Ed stopped. He and Bob walked quickly back to the swing and Ed gave her a quick, dry peck beside the mouth.

“Good night, Ann.”

She frowned. “Good night, Ed.”

Ed and Bob hurried down the steps.

“Good night, Ann,” Bob said, as they hurried across the yard, his fingers already working at the belts cinching their chests together.

“Good night, Bob,” Ann said.

Ed lived in a small house on Sycamore Street. The house was very old with yellow siding running up the walls, some of which was turning green over the years. The front door was nailed shut, so any visitors (and there weren’t many) had to walk around the little dirt path around to the back of the house, which was crowded with pecan trees. The back door opened up onto a screened in porch/laundry room, where the day after his date with Ann, he stood at his washer, bending over, picking up one sleeveless shirt after another and dropping it into the front-loader washing machine.

He felt a little better about the date after a night’s rest, but he still berated himself for thinking that he could possibly pull off being normal. A girl like Ann, Ed knew, deserved far more than a man with no arms. She deserved a normal man with two arms. She was so perfect, she perhaps even deserved a man with three arms – but definitely not someone with flippers. Despite the way he had ran away from her into the night, he thought that they had both had a good time. It was just a shame that they’d never be able to do it again. There was just no way he could keep dragging Bob around with him pretending to be his arms. And there was no way a girl like Ann could go for a guy like Ed. It was a nice idea, but it was time to get real, Ed thought.

And yet, as Ed was loading his washing machine and thinking about getting real, the most unrealistic thing happened. There was a knock at the screen door of his back porch/laundry room. Ed turned and saw Ann standing there, holding her cane in one hand, wearing a light blue dress with a big white bow tied in the front.

“Ann?” he said.

“Ed, are you home?”

“Yes, Ann,” he said and rushed over, pushing the door open with his foot. “Come in. How – ”

“Bob told me where you lived,” she interrupted. “I hope you don’t mind that I came over uninvited.”

“Not at all,” Ed said.

“You ran off so quickly last night.”

“Yes, I had to get home. I, uh,” he couldn’t think. “I had to poop.”

“Oh,” Ann said and frowned.

“I’m better now,” Ed said.

“Well, that’s good.”

“Yes,” Ed said and nodded.

“I’ve brought you a gift,” Ann said.

She began fishing around in a pocket on the front of her dress. She smiled, and Ed couldn’t help but smile. It could brighten a room – even an old laundry room shrouded by the shadows of pecan trees.

“Oh, Ann, you shouldn’t have.”

“It’s a wristwatch,” she said pulling out a golden watch from her dress pocket.

“Oh, Ann, you really shouldn’t have,” Ed groaned.

“You said you didn’t have one,” Ann said. “I wanted to show you how much I enjoyed last night.”

“Ann, I – ”

“Here,” she said stepping toward him, waving her cane in front of her. “Let’s put it on.”

“No, I can’t,” Ed said, stepping backward, retreating across the laundry room until his butt collided with the dryer. Ann advanced on him.

“Oh come on,” she said.

“No, really, Ann I can’t.”

“It’s no big deal, Ed. Don’t be modest.” She walked toward him, holding the watch out at him with one hand and tapping her cane on the floor in front of her.

“I’m not being modest.”

“Then take the watch,” she said. She closed the distance between them until the white tip of her red cane tapped him on the shoe.

“I can’t because,” he sighed. He had reached the end of the line. “I have no arms.” Ann paused for a moment, her head cocked to one side. Ed watched her calculate what she had just heard. He wished he could see her eyes behind those dark glasses, to see what kind of emotions they were conveying. Disgust? Fear?

Finally, Ann asked, “What did you do with them?”

“Nothing,” Ed said, “I’ve never had any.”

Her brow creased. “What about – ”

“Those were Bob’s arms.”

“Why would – ”

He interrupted again. “I have phocomelia.”

Ann shook her head.

“I’m a thalidomide baby,” Ed explained. “I was born without arms. Instead, I have… I have flippers,” he said quickly.

“Flippers?”

“Well, they’re fingers. But they come from my shoulders and they’re webbed. They look like flippers. That’s what people called me in high school. Flipper.”

“But last night – ”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t want to go out with me if you knew about my flippers. I had Bob pretend to be my arms for you.”

Ann stood in front of Ed, and though she hadn’t the ability to see, Ed felt scrutinized. He watched her face, looking for any telltale expression.

Finally, she said, “I want to see.”

“But, Ann,” Ed said, “you’re blind.”

“Yes, I know that, Ed,” she snapped. “I want to look at you with my hands.”

Ed glanced around the room. He could try to slip out around her, but the laundry room was small, and he’d probably wind up knocking her down if he tried to escape. He remembered the way she had said that something had touched her face, and he didn’t want to see that same look of disgust again. And yet…

“Okay,” he said.

Ann dropped the watch back into her dress pocket. She let her cane fall to the floor, and reached up to place her hands on the top of Ed’s head. He stood there and felt her fingers trace the contours of his head. Her fingers rolled over his forehead and over his eyes. Her thumbs ran across his eye lashes her fingers explored his temples, his ears. Then down over his cheeks. She felt his nose, his lips, and chin. Her hands ran down his neck. Then out over his shoulders. Ed took a deep breath as her hands slipped over his shoulders and felt the backs of the fingers that sprouted there. She ran her fingernails over the ridges, feeling the finger bones and the webbing between them. Her fingertips found his and then slid underneath and felt into what would have been, in other circumstances, considered his armpit.

“You’re absolutely beautiful,” she said softly.

“You're wrong,” Ed said.

“No,” Ann said, her hands came back to his fingers. “You are different from everyone else.”

“That’s what’s wrong with me.”

“No,” Ann said, “I have seen so many people, and they are all the same. Two eyes, two ears, one nose. Two arms. But you’re… you’re different.”

“I’m defective,” Ed said.

“No,” Ann corrected, “you’re perfect.”

Ed smiled. He could think of nothing to say.

“Would you like to see me?” Ann asked stepping closer to Ed. The distance between them was so small.

“I can see you, Ann,” Ed said.

“No,” she said, “See me the way I see you.”

And he realized what she was saying. She reached up and removed her glasses, sliding them into the same pocket that she had dropped the watch. Her eyes were milky white.

Ed took a deep breath, and said, “I’d love to.”

Ann closed her eyes. Ed turned a little and leaned forward, letting the fingers on his right side touch her cheek. He gently stroked her face, her lips. He stood on his tiptoes and brushed the hair back from her forehead and ran his fingers over her ears. He realized that it was the first time he had every touched another person so intimately. He brushed her lower lip and she sighed, her shoulders rose and fell as she took deeper and deeper breaths. He ran his hand down her neck onto her shoulder. She licked her lips and reached out and touched his stomach.

“Tell me,” she said, “are there any other missing body parts?”

Ed smiled, “No. Just my arms.”

Ann smiled, too, and stepped closer to him, so close that if they had had a belt and a bungee cord, they could have tethered themselves together.

“Good,” she said.

And Ann gave Ed a good looking over, and Ed did likewise for Ann. And though he had always considered himself something of a ladies’ man, after that day, Ed gave up all the other women, and devoted himself to Ann. And the two lived happily ever after.