To Belong to The Sea

She knew The Sea had saved her, because it had told her so. The Sea took pity on girls drowned at sea and gave them a new life in his home. Her earliest memory was opening her eyes and seeing bellies of waves as they rolled above her. Her first intake of ocean was salty as it passed through her lips and filled her body with life. In her new skin and gleaming scales, she was free to travel wherever the ocean reached. However, The Sea had saved her, and so she was forever tethered to him.

She made her home in a small underwater cave at the base of a trench. She opened her eyes when a small fish grazed her cheek, a gentle ‘good morning’ from The Sea. Every day she woke up to brightly colored coral speckled along the ceiling of her little home. She smiled and closed her eyes, arching her back and stretching her arms, the end of her tail giving a flip that accidentally sent a small sea snail toppling to the floor.

Her hair, the color of pale moonlight, billowed around her, tickling her shoulders. She ran her fingers through it, letting the soft locks slip between them. She let three small starfish live along the left side of her hairline. They helped keep it clean, and she adored the bright shades of purple and orange they brought to her dark home. It was the hermit crabs she had to weed out of her hair in the mornings.

Then she would polish her scales with bits of seaweed. Down at the bottom of the sea, they didn’t look like much, but when she ventured near the ocean’s surface, they were quite the spectacle, and she was very proud of them. The beauty of her fin was what her lovers were so entranced by, so hers must have been the most beautiful they had ever seen.

When she was finished primping herself, she swam to the mouth of her cave. Outside was a forest of tall seaweed that swayed gently with the current. Just to the right and through the thick entanglements was her garden, where her lovers waited for her devotedly. She could just make out their shadows swaying back and forth against the curtain of green.

She chewed on her bottom lip and ran her fingers along the necklace draped over her breast. It was made of small trinkets from her lovers, coins, buttons, and rings she had strewn together with seaweed. That was usually how she chose her lovers. She loved the glimmer of silver and gold, anything that could catch the smallest bit of light. It was weighty, growing heavier with each new lover.

She handpicked each of her lovers—plucked them each like a flower, and brought them to her garden. They were faithfully waiting for her, but she would not visit them today. The ocean was very jealous, which is why they hid in the garden. Today, she wanted to visit the surface, if just for a short while, to see the daylight streaming through the water.

As she made her way up to the surface, tendrils of seaweed swirled around her fin, The Sea catching her, as if he knew where she was going. Nevertheless, she shook herself free with a small swish of her tail. Her garden was beginning to become so overrun, but she couldn’t bring herself to weed it.

She left the darkness and safety of the watery trench, and entered the higher realm of the sea, which was full of life. Schools of fish swam by her, their fins leaving gentle kisses on her skin. The water was warmer and the sun spilled in. She rolled onto her back, reveling in the ribbons of light shimmering over her fin and necklace. She smiled as The Sea cradled her in his current, stroking her hair and caressing her scales.

She kicked her fin lazily and stared up through the water, watching the light dance and the bellies of waves roll above her. Then she noticed a shadow cutting down from the surface.

She stopped, swam in small circles, and tried to squint through the water to make out what the shape was. Her fingers danced over her necklace for a moment before she decided to swim further up. The closer she got to the surface, the more she could make out a large dark rectangle. Over the edge, submerged in the water, was a torso and pair of legs.

Legs! Excitement rose in her chest, pulling against the weight of her lover’s necklace. The Sea nudged her with its current, telling her to move on, to go back home, but she wouldn’t listen. She swam up, emerging from the water just a few yards from the curious form, just enough so that the ocean lapped against the tip of her nose. She had to squint in the sunlight as it bounced off the surface of the water, lighting up a boy who was draped over a large piece of wood. Her eyebrows drew together, and she cautiously approached his form. She placed the tips of her fingers on the thick slab of wood and looked at him carefully.

His arms were splayed out; his hands looked rough and dirty. His cheek was pressed into the wood, and his eyes were closed. Was he sleeping?

She pulled her upper body onto the board and lightly stroked her fingers along one of his arms. The Sea washed over the board, nudging her hand but she ignored it. His skin was hot and so tan compared to her cold, pale hand—and his hair was a rich shade of brown that sparked with gold in the sunlight, unlike her silvery hair that now fell limp and heavy over her shoulders.

Why wasn’t he waking up? She wondered with a frown.

Her fingers worked their way up his shoulder to his jaw. All of her lovers had thick hair that grew on their faces, but his was hardly a shadow, exposing every curve and contour of his cheeks and neck. She drew herself closer, running her hands through his rich hair.

Suddenly, a noise came from the boy’s throat and his eyes opened. They swept around him for a moment before fixing upon her. She was able to gaze into them (a shocking shade of green she had never seen except for the emeralds that adorned some of her lovers gifts) before the boy gave a start. He flailed back, almost losing his grip on the board, and The Sea tried to pull at him, but she quickly caught his arms.

Once he had regained his grip, she pulled away. She watched him as he watched her. His mouth was agape and those brilliant green eyes were opened wide, like an unblinking fish. She rested both arms on the board, propping up one of her elbows so that she could rest her chin in her hand. She smiled at him, humored by how silly the expression on his face looked.

Finally, he spoke to her, but they were words she couldn’t understand. She tilted her head, drawing her eyebrows together. He made the same string of noise again, but she simply shook her head. He looked disappointed.

Her heart ached; she didn’t want him to be sad. Or did he not like her? She slid back into the water and gave a flap of her fin as she floated around to his side. The sunlight caught her scales, revealing their pearly iridescence. His eyes were glued to her tail, making that funny face again. She knew he would be impressed.

She swam up to his side, leaning onto the wood again, her arms folded over while leaning her cheek against her shoulder. He had no silver or gold on him—was not adorned in shiny armor like some of her lovers. He wore only a tattered white shirt that billowed and pulled against his skin in the water. His pants were ragged, the legs completely torn off at the knees, exposing more of his tanned skin and bare feet below. He was completely unlike the other lovers waiting in her garden, and she loved him all the more for it. He had no tokens for her, but he, himself, was new token.

His hand reached out slowly, hesitating for a moment before lightly trailing the side of her face, brushing the starfish she adorned. She smiled, closed her eyes, and basked in the sunlight, relishing the feel of his calloused thumb tracing her cheekbone. She sighed at how soft and loving his touch was, even though her skin started to burn as it dried in the sun, a jealous reminder from The Sea.

Her eyes opened when he spoke to her again. It was soft, a quiet humming that was gentle and soothing—it seemed like the familiar ring of something musical she had forgotten.

She slid back into the water and moved closer to him, her hands resting on his sides as she dipped her chin into the water and gazed up at him. The Sea swelled and tried to push its way between them.

He didn’t look scared anymore, just dazed, and entranced. A small giggle bubbled past her lips and tickled her nose. She pulled herself closer to the boy and buried her face into the bare skin of his neck. He was so warm and comforting compared to the frigid seclusion of the ocean’s depths. She was lonely in the trench, and her heart ached in a way none of her lovers from her garden could soothe. Her fin brushed against his legs. She drew a deep sigh, the smell of salt water and sweat filling her nose. She wished to stay with him and forever feel the heat of his body, the security of his muscles as he held her close.

She leaned her head back to gaze up at him. He was smiling now, dimples cutting into his cheeks.

She loved and needed him, desperately—and surely he must love her too by the way he trusted her enough to let go of the board, one hand cradling the back of her head, the other encircling her waist. Her fin swept back and forth, keeping them both afloat. He spoke into her ear and she didn’t care that she didn’t know what he was saying. She wanted to keep his warmness all for herself.

Her arms wrapped themselves around his waist tightly, pressing her body to his as she gave him a kiss. Their lips were still pressed together as she pulled him with her into the sea.

She swam down, twirling in circles, bubbles dancing around them as she laughed with pure joy. She pulled him down further and tried to give him another kiss, but now he was straining against her. His legs kicked and his arms flung out above him, as if he were trying to grab onto the rays of sunlight, but The Sea held him down. His mouth opened and closed, huge bubbles bursting forth before water rushed in.

She tried to comfort him, tried to reassure him that everything was okay, holding him close, and cupping his cheek with her hand—but it was like he couldn’t even see her anymore. Her heart pounded violently in her chest. If he would just relax, just see what she was trying to say, maybe this time The Sea would let her keep him. His eyes darted back and forth, turning red as they bulged from their sockets. His arms slammed against her and she recoiled. His body jerked, and then he suddenly went still. Just before his eyelids slid shut, she saw the dazzling green light in them fade away.

She swam forward, balled up his shirt in her hands, and shook him. Wake up! She kissed him but his lips remained motionless. Please wake up! She held his cheeks and she stared at him intently, waiting for his eyes to open back up, but they didn't.

Her stomach churned and a shudder ran from the back of her neck to the tip of her tail. Once again, The Sea had been jealous—and once again, he made one of her lovers fall asleep.

She hugged the boy close and swam down to the bottom of the sea. She swam through the forest of seaweed with him until she reached her garden where all of her lovers were waiting. Some had long beards that drafted back and forth in the water; some wore heavy coats with bronze buttons; some had rings of gold pierced through their ears—all were asleep, their eyes closed, and at the end of their legs, their ankles were tied down with seaweed, otherwise her lovers would just float away. She passed a sleeping man, whose mouth was wide open with a small fish nestled inside.

Another had barnacles growing along his boots. Some were tied too close to each other, their shoulders bumping as they swayed back and forth in the water.

She had found them all on the surface, and had tried to bring them with her into the ocean, but The Sea always put them into an unwaking sleep— no matter how much she loved them, or how lonely she was. The Sea would not allow a man to live in his realm.

She brought her new lover to the edge of the garden, nearest the opening to her cave. She tied a strong piece of seaweed around one of his ankles and stared at him. She waited some more, but his eyes wouldn’t open. Trembling, she nuzzled into her lover, locking her arms around his waist. She curled up, cheek pressed into his chest, eyes closed, trying to soak in every last bit of his warmth before The Sea closed around them and took it all away.