Thicker Than Water

"What do you mean? You've never been to church?"

Natalie's eyes widened.

Tanya shook her head.

"Never ever? Don't you believe in Jesus?"

"Uhhh..." Tanya said. "I don't know."

"Everyone should believe in Jesus. He died for our sins."

"Okay." Tanya didn't know what to say. She didn't believe or disbelieve, it just never came up before.

They were playing Go Fish at recess when the subject came up. Natalie pulled out another pair. "You should totally come with me. It's really fun. We sing songs, we learn about Jesus. You do know who Jesus is, right?"

"Yeah," Tanya said.

"And we play on the playground afterwards. You know, my dad's the preacher."

"Really?" Tanya said, "Like the lead guy?"

"Yeah. In fact, that's why we moved down here. And then afterwards, we can go play in the youth room. It's got this big plasma TV with Nintendo. My dad got it special."

"When is it?"

"It's Sunday. It's always Sunday. At nine-thirty. You can sit by me, and then afterwards I can get my dad to take us to Dairy Queen."

"Really?" Tanya said as she put down her pair of queens.

"I'll have to ask my parents."

"You can bring them along. Maybe they want to go to church too."

"I don't think they're religious."

"Don't you know? Don't they say grace before dinner or make you pray before bed?"

"No," Tanya said. "Is that what you do?"

"Yeah, that's what every family does."

"I was adopted when I was a baby," Tanya said. She'd always known she was adopted, but it didn't bother her. She had a mom and a dad that made sure she got breakfast in the morning, helped her with her homework, and read her a story before bed. "Would that be why?"

"No," Natalie mocked. "Everyone needs to go to church, at least once in a while, and ours is the coolest. It's only an hour. I bet if you tell them you want to go, they'll go."

"Do you think that will work?"

"Pssh," she scoffed. "They can't say no. Not unless they want to burn in Hell. Just tell them you want to see your friends."

Tanya nodded. "Okay, I'll ask them."

That evening, as her mom put her plate in front of her, Tanya said, "Mom, can we go with Natalie to church on Sunday?"

Tanya's mom froze, the hand still on her plate. She glanced at her husband, Victor. "What was that, dear?" she said.

"I want us to go to church with Natalie. She said church is really fun. And I thought it would be better if we could all go."

"Natalie's that new girl, right? From Massachusetts?" her father asked.

They exchanged another look. Tanya's mom, Rose, took her seat at the table. "Errr, dear, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

Her mom bit her lip, "Ummm..."

"Can Natalie just pick you up?" her dad said.

"I don't think so," she said after a thought. "Her dad's the preacher so I bet they have to be there extra early. Besides it sounds fun. We never do anything on Sunday mornings anyway."

Rose and Victor stared at each other. Tanya didn't know why they were taking so long to make up their minds. This was a no-brainer.

"I think we have to..." her mom said. "Uh... clean the house."

"Clean the house?" Tanya said. "We cleaned it last week."

Victor put his hand on his wife's shoulder. "Guess she was going to find out sometime."

Rose nodded solemnly. "Honey?" she said to Tanya, "We need to tell you something."

Tanya's eyes widened and her heart beat faster.

"I didn't really want you to find out like this. But, you'll need to know some time."

Her dad said, "This is something we never told you before. We're vampires."

Tanya's eyes had been watering, ready to cry. Now she furrowed her brows. "Huh?"

"We're vampires," her dad repeated. "We can't go inside a church."

She had no idea how to take that as anything but a joke. Tanya expected them to shout 'just kidding!'. But they remained stoic and waited for a response from her. "You're not kidding."

"I wish I was, honey," Rose said.

"You are not vampires," Tanya laughed.

"Yes, honey, we are."

"Then why don't you have fangs?" Tanya pointed to their mouths.

"They're retractable, like a snake. They can fold in."

Tanya smirked. "Show me."

Rose and Victor looked at each other again. Her mom opened her mouth like she was going to take a bite from an apple.

Her two front canines descended an inch from her upper jaw.

Tanya shoved away from the table, upsetting her chair and falling on her tailbone. Heedless of the pain, she scrambled up and backed away.

Her parents held up their hands. "Tanya, Tanya, it's okay, it's okay. We're not going to hurt you."

All she could see were the fangs in her mom's mouth, sticking out like a crocodile's.

"How did you do that? That's not real," Tanya said.

"Yes, it is real, I'm afraid," Rose said.

"Don't worry, honey," her dad said. "We still love you. We're still the same people that raised you."

She stopped backing away when she saw their eyes.

There was no malice in them. They still looked like her parents, but pointier.

"You're really vampires," Tanya said.

"Yes."

"Do you drink blood?"

"Well, yes. That's kind of the core part of being a vampire," Victor said.

"Human blood?"

"Yes. That's the only kind we can have," Rose said.

"But you eat regular food!" She pointed to the plates of food in front of them.

"We can eat regular food, but it doesn't give us all the nutrients that we need," Victor said. "It's like another food group for us. Did you learn about the four food groups in school?"

"There's five now, dear," Rose said.

Tanya ignored the question. "You don't... kill people for it?"

"Oh, no. We buy it from a blood bank. We have someone deliver it and keep it in the freezer in our room," Victor said.

"But I've never seen you drink blood."

"We drink it when you're sleeping. We don't need much per day."

"Is that why your room is in the basement? Do you sleep in coffins?"

"No, but we do need to sleep on the dirt of our homeland every night," Rose said.

"Way back in the past, we used to be like the vampires you see on TV, but we're not anymore. We got tired of that," Victor said.

"Always running away, always hiding." Rose looked at her husband. "I guess we're still hiding, somewhat. But now at least we're not being pursued."

"Did you kill people?"

Her father sighed. "Yes, I'm afraid so. But it was for their blood. We needed it to live. Now with modern technology, we don't need to do that, so we gave it up. Not everyone did."

"Am I a vampire?"

"No. Remember, you were adopted," Victor said.

"Are you going to make me a vampire?"

They laughed. "Oh, lord, no. No, of course not."

Rose joked, "You're the only one of us that can go outside."

"Then why did you adopt me?" Tanya asked. She thought of being fattened up like in Hansel & Gretel.

"Because we wanted to be a family. We've been together for," she thought, "Decades, at least. We wanted something new. And vampires can't, um," she tried to think of the appropriate word, "Have children on their own."

"What? Like with fertility drugs?"

"No, I mean. Well-"

Victor interrupted. "Being a vampire is part disease, part magic, part possession. So our bodies don't work the same. That means we can't have children like normal."

"Oh," Tanya said. She still didn't understand, but decided to let it go. "How long have you been... not vampiring?"

"Let's see," Rose said, "Sixty years ago, I think. That's when the blood bank opened."

Victor nodded. "Back then we were living in run-down buildings, or underground. There's nothing really great about being a vampire, except for the immortality. But that has its good and bad too."

"Uh-huh," Tanya said. "I guess this explains why you always went to the evening parent-teacher conferences."

They nodded. "Are you okay with this?" Victor said.

Tanya scratched her head, "I don't know... I mean... I don't know."

"You're still our daughter," her mom said, "And we still love you and we would never do anything to hurt you. I'm sorry this came up like it did, but we didn't know how you would react."

"And please don't tell anyone what we are," Victor said.

"Just because we don't want someone snooping around, or risk being run out of town."

"They probably won't believe you, but they might get scared and try to hurt us," Rose added.

Tanya kept staring at the ground. She couldn't look at them.

"Honey, will you please come and finish your dinner?"

Rose said.

Tanya rubbed the back of her neck and, failing to come up with a good excuse, sat back down.

Tanya didn't sleep that night. She couldn't stop going over everything in her life that proved her parents were vampires- -everything she should have noticed before. Their skin was pale. They only went outside in the evening. All the windows were UV tinted.

Their master bedroom had a deadbolt and she was forbidden from going in there. She thought it was because they wanted their private time. No, they just wanted to drink their blood in peace.

They didn't walk her out to the bus on her first day of kindergarten, like the other kids. They didn't go to the school's open house. And although they looked younger than parents she saw on TV, they acted old--old hairstyles, old clothes. They had been alive for decades. Well, not alive, but around.

Tanya didn't know much about vampires. The only real exposure she had was Scooby-Doo and Casper cartoons. But her parents were real vampires, like in the advertisements for R-rated movies she would never see in a million years. The ones that bit you on the neck, and made blood drip down your skin...

Tanya whimpered. Tears ran down her nose. She imagined her parents lurking in a dark alley and grabbing some unsuspecting passerby. They held him against the wall as her dad plunged his fangs into his leg, and her mom sunk into his neck. And they feasted while he flailed his arms, helpless and dying.

They could be doing that now. They could be creeping into her room. She imagined her door creaking open, revealing two long shadows in the sickly yellow light. Long gangly fingers reached for her.

She pulled the covers over her head and cried.

"Oh, honey, you look awful," her dad said in the morning.

"I... didn't sleep," Tanya said.

Victor sipped his coffee. Or maybe it was warm blood, or coffee mixed with blood. "I'm sorry. I guess I should've figured that."

Rose knelt down and felt Tanya's face. "Do you feel okay? Do you want to stay home today?"

Any kid with half a brain would have jumped at an opportunity for a day off. But Tanya thought of the alternative-- all day in a house of vampires. "No, I'm fine. I can go."

"You sure? You can stay home if you want."

"I'm fine, really."

"Okay, I made you some pancakes."

"Pancakes?" Her eyes brightened.

"You probably had a pretty rough day yesterday. I promise it'll get easier as you go on."

"You'll get used to it, I hope," her father said. "We have."

"How long have you been... you know?"

Victor looked up at the ceiling. "Let's see. I turned in 1919. I remember it was the flu epidemic."

"1857 for me," Rose said.

"So you're the older one?" Tanya pointed. "That's kinda funny."

Her mom smiled as she put down the plate of pancakes.

"I guess it is."

Tanya ate her breakfast, but kept an eye on her parents. The thought of being poisoned crossed her mind, but that didn't make sense. For one thing, vampires didn't poison, and second, why would they poison her now, when they could have done that ages ago?

"Oh, the bus is almost here," her mom said. "Hurry up."

Tanya checked the clock and saw she was right. She jumped off the chair and grabbed her backpack. Her mother escorted her to the door and bent down to give her a kiss.

The image of her mother's teeth growing like daggers sprung to mind. Tanya pulled her head back. Her mother paused, obviously hurt.

But she was just trying to be a good mom. She was telling the truth last night--nothing had really changed. Tanya offered her cheek again, and her mom kissed it.

"Have a good day," she said.

Tanya muddled through the day on autopilot--caused by both the lack of sleep and the situation.

At recess she sat under the shade of a tree, too tired to play. She watched the other kids and wondered if things would ever be normal again.

A small scab on her knee caught her eye, from when she bumped into the coffee table a week ago. She picked the crusty brown mass away with her fingernail. A small dome of bright red blood oozed out. Blood just like her parents drank.

She wiped it away, leaving a red streak on her knee. She put her finger in her mouth. It didn't taste like anything.

Natalie came up to her, along with their friend Patty.

"Hey, Tanya," Natalie said. "Why aren't you playing?"

"I don't know. I don't feel good," Tanya said.

"Oh, that's too bad," Patty said.

"Did you ask your parents about church?" Natalie said.

"Uh, yeah." Tanya drew in the dirt with a twig.

"Yeah? And?"

"They can't come."

Natalie made a pouty face. "Ohhh, why not?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Natalie said, "What do you mean 'nothing'?"

"Nothing. I mean, they can't go to church."

Patty said, "Why? Are they sick?"

"No," Natalie growled, "That's stupid. How would they know they're going to be sick? Are they Satanists?" Natalie asked.

"No, not really," Tanya replied. "They just can't go, ever."

"'Not really'? What does that mean? They can't ever go to church? What, are they vampires or something?"

Tanya tilted her head back and forth. "Yeah, kinda."

At first they said nothing. Patty snickered. Natalie's jaw dropped. "Yeah, right," she said, "Are you serious?"

Tanya nodded, not making eye contact.

"They're not vampires. How do they go out?" Natalie said.

"They only go out at night," Tanya said. "That's the way it's always been. Our windows are those special shaded kind. So there's no sunlight."

"Don't they have jobs?" Natalie said.

"No, they don't need to. They have inherited money, I guess. I think they sleep during the day when I'm at school."

Natalie turned to Patty. "Is she being serious?"

Patty shrugged. "I've never seen her parents. Or been in her house."

Natalie asked Tanya, "Are you serious? Your parents are really vampires? Like 'vampire' vampires?"

Tanya nodded again. "My mom showed me her teeth.

They literally grew out of her mouth like this." She held up her fingers to the upper part of her mouth and mimed the incisors moving down. "And they drink blood. They get it from a blood bank."

"Oh my gosh," Natalie said, "Have you ever seen them drink blood?"

"No. They don't drink it in front of me." Tanya shook her head. "I think they do it at night. They keep their bedroom door locked."

Natalie said, "If they're real, you have to kill them."

"What?" Tanya looked up with horror.

Natalie nodded. "They're vampires, aren't they?

Vampires are evil. You have to kill them."

"I can't kill them, they're my parents."

"They're not your real parents. They adopted you, remember?" Tanya had to concede that point and nodded.

"Vampires can't raise a family. They're evil things."

"They're not evil anymore, they said."

"You're going to believe them? Vampires always tell the truth?"

Patty said, "What if she just runs away?"

"You can't let vampires keep on living," Natalie said, "What if they kill someone?"

"They said they don't do that anymore," Tanya said.

"But they did. And what's to stop them from doing it again?"

Patty said, "Maybe they're nice. My mom's always reading books where girls fall in love with vampires."

Natalie stuck out her chin. "Patty, these aren't like aliens, where some are good and some are bad. They're monsters. They drink people's blood."

Tanya thought back to the images of last night--of her parents' mouths dug deep into the flesh of their victim, eyes red with evil.

"But if I kill them, what's going to happen to me?" Tanya asked.

"Well, do you have any relatives?"

Tanya shook her head. "I'm adopted, and I don't have any uncles or anything like that."

"Then they'll probably put you in a foster home."

Tanya's eyes watered.

"But it's better than living with vampires," Natalie amended.

"How do you kill a vampire?" Patty asked.

"A stake through the heart," Natalie said without hesitation. "When they're sleeping."

"I can't do that," Tanya said. "I can't stab someone."

"It's the only way. It's how they always do it."

Patty interjected, "How is she going to do that if her parents lock their door?"

"Okay, okay," Natalie said, "There's other things.

There's garlic."

"We don't have garlic in our house," Tanya said.

"Well, obviously," Natalie said, "You'd have to get it from somebody. I have garlic at my house. Or there's crosses. You can make a cross out of anything."

"Holy water," Patty suggested.

"Oh, perfect," Natalie said. "I can get some from my dad. He's a preacher."

"We know," Patty said.

"What am I supposed to do with the holy water?" Tanya said.

"Throw it on them," Natalie said.

"But that won't kill them," Patty said. "It'll just burn them. But I saw on TV where a vampire drank it, and that killed him."

"Yeah, yeah. Make them drink it," Natalie said as if she'd thought of it.

"What am I supposed to do?" Tanya said, "Just hand them some random water and say 'hey, drink this'."

"No, silly, put it in their food."

Tanya tried to think of a problem with that, but couldn't.

"Does it stay holy water if you put it in food?" Patty asked.

"I guess so. I don't see why not. If it doesn't work, they still won't know."

Tanya pleaded, "I can't kill my parents. I can't kill anyone."

Natalie frowned. "If you don't, I'm going to tell someone. We can't have vampires on the streets in this town."

Patty sneered, "Who are you going to tell? Who would believe you?"

"We believe her. And I'd tell my dad. He'd do something about it, I know."

Tanya thought back to the cartoons and movies. There was always some sort of priest or concerned mother who got the town up in arms. She imagined a mob with torches and guns at her front door.

"You can't do that," Tanya said. "The police won't let you."

"They're vampires. They don't deserve to live. Either you kill them, or I'll get someone else to do it. You can stay at my house afterwards. And if it doesn't affect them, you'll know they aren't vampires. Now are you going to take the holy water or not?"

Tanya looked away, then nodded.

"Good, I'll get you some tomorrow."

When Tanya got home from school, she didn't talk to her parents much. She mostly watched TV--more than her parents would usually let her. But all the time, she was keeping a close eye on them--seeing if they exhibited any of the murderous vampire traits.

Her mother vacuumed and dusted the upstairs. Her father read in the kitchen for a while, then went into the garage. At the point she realized both her parents were out of the room, she went snooping.

Tanya could hear typing in the den. She peeked through the crack in the door and saw her mother on the computer. A green folder sat next to her, in which she scribbled down notes. Tanya kept as silent as possible.

Her opportunity came when her mother stretched and stood up. Tanya backed out of view, and waited. Then she heard the hallway bathroom door close. She snuck into the den.

The folder contained sheets of notebook paper. A name was listed at the top of each page, with a list of details below:

"Mitch Holden"--wife--Mary, two sons--Daniel & Roger. Police chief. Gets to work at 8:00. Stops at gas station for coffee."

"Tharon Goodbody"--librarian, 73 years old, unmarried, no family. Always brings lunch. Lives on 1430 E 5th Ave."

Each sheet was like this--where they lived, when they went to work, how they got there, what they ate, who were their relatives, age, hobbies, height, weight.

Were they lying to her? Were they stalking people?

Good people didn't collect information like this. Were they searching for new victims? Why else would they need to know family members--how many people they'd have to make disappear.

And then she saw a sheet that said "Thomas Pilkington"- -reverend at Prince of Peace. Moved to town three months ago. Daughter--Natalie. At the bottom, the words "LIKELY CANDIDATE" were underlined.

Likely candidate? For what? Becoming another vampire? Someone to join their army of the undead?

She left the room, and wondered if there was a page with her name on it.

The next day, Natalie handed Tanya a bottle of spring water at the start of class. "Here you go. My dad blessed it. Now it's holy water."

Tanya accepted the bottle. "You didn't tell him what it was for, did you?," she said.

"No, I just said I needed some holy water. He just laughed and blessed my Dasani before school. Now, are you going to do it?"

Tanya regarded the bottle again. "Do I need to use the whole bottle?"

"I don't know. Use as much of it as you can, I guess. If it only works halfway, they're going to know it was you."

"But can't we just report them to the police?"

"Don't you watch the movies? The police never do anything. It's up to you." Natalie took the bottle and shoved it in Tanya's backpack. "They're monsters. They've killed before. You've got to kill them. They're not real humans. You know?"

"Yeah," Tanya said, staring at the floor.

Tanya could barely function in school the rest of the day. She kept her eyes trained on the water bottle sticking out of her backpack. Throughout the day, Natalie constantly asked her if she still had it. At the last bell, as she was walking out the door, she pointed at Tanya and said, "Don't forget."

On the way home, Tanya pictured her parents as the monsters she imagined they were. Her mother had fangs dripping with drool and blood. Her father wore a black cloak wrapped around his face, pulling innocent young girls toward him.

By dinner time, she had transferred the bottle's contents to an empty Diet Coke can to be more discreet. She spun it around in her hands under the table, fortified with the knowledge that they needed to be stopped.

"Do you want butter on your peas, Tanya?" her mother chirped.

"No, thank you."

Her mother turned back to the steaming pot. Her father took his place at the table and asked "Did you get any more sleep last night?"

"A little," she said.

Her mom placed their dishes in front of them, already set with peas, meatloaf, and sliced pears. "Here you go."

"Are you still doing okay?" her dad asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"If you have any other questions, we'd be happy to answer them, you know."

"It's all right. It's fine," Tanya said.

Her mom sat down. "Oh, I forgot napkins."

"And knives," her father said, "I'll get it."

Both of them went back into the kitchen. It was as if a divine hand had created the perfect chance for her.

She pulled out the can and poured half the water on her mom's plate and half on her dad's. It disappeared into the gray gravy and pear juice.

The regret struck her immediately--someone was going to die, because of her. But she couldn't turn back now. They were evil, just like the vampires on TV--with capes and blood and fangs.

They came back to the table, all smiles.

"You're not eating?" Victor asked.

"What? Oh," Tanya tore her gaze away from her dad's meatloaf and looked at her own. She picked up her fork and cut away a chunk.

Her father picked up his own fork as her mom distributed napkins. "This smells great," he said. He sliced away a portion in the center. Juice and water spurted from his knife. Tanya stared wide-eyed.

He speared the chunk and raised it to his mouth, a slight smile on his face.

Tanya opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

He put the meatloaf in his mouth and swallowed it in one bite.

"No, don't!" Tanya yelped.

They froze and stared at their daughter.

Tanya burst into tears. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she ranted in her sobs. "I'm so sorry. Natalie told me to. She said you were monsters. I was scared. I was scared, I didn't know. I'm sorry-"

Rose jumped from her seat to comfort her. "Honey, honey, calm down. What are you talking about?" She rubbed Tanya's back. Her father stared bug-eyed and dumbfounded.

Tanya tried to breathe deep. "The holy water... There's holy water... I put holy water in the meatloaf. Natalie gave it to me. She said you were monsters."

"Holy water?" her dad said. He looked at his meatloaf with great interest and fear. "Uhh..."

Rose stared at her husband, as if waiting for something to happen. He shrugged.

"Where did you get the holy water from?" Rose asked.

"From Natalie."

"Natalie who just moved here?" Rose said.

Tanya wiped her eyes. "Yes. I thought you were going to kill her. I saw the green folder and it had a list of names in it. And you had Natalie's father on it. And it said 'likely candidate', and I thought you were going to kill them or make them vampires or something. So she got me the holy water from her father."

"Ohhh..." Her father sat back, relieved.

Rose breathed out. "Reverend Pilkington," she said.

"Don't worry, we're not going to do anything to them. That's a list of people who might be potential enemies or hunters."

"When you're a vampire, you keep tabs on new people in town," Victor said.

"Natalie's father is a television evangelist. Do you know what that is?" Rose asked Tanya, who shook her head. "That's someone who runs church like a business. They have big mega-churches with video screens to try and attract people and get a lot of money."

"So then... you're going to be all right?" Tanya asked. Victor laughed. "Holy water from a faithless preacher is worth less than my spit."

"And you're not going to kill them?"

"No. If they get snoopy, we can move or bribe them or scare them or something. It's happened before."

"You're not upset that I tried to kill you?"

Victor smiled, "People have been trying to kill us for years. Coming from you, it stings a little, but you were confused."

Tanya sobbed again, but this time from joy. She buried her face in her mom's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do."

"It's okay, honey," her mom wiped her tears away and tipped her head up.

"I love you, even though you're not my parents. And you're vampires. It's all Natalie's fault."

"You know," Victor said. "You shouldn't let other people influence your thinking, honey. Maybe Natalie's not such a good friend to have."

"What should I do?" Tanya asked. "She said she would tell her parents."

Rose and Victor looked at each other. "Well," her father said. "I might know a way, if you want to hear it."

Tanya was looking away, staring out the window, when Natalie walked into class. She threw down her half-shouldered backpack and scooted up to her.

"So?" Natalie said. "Did you do it? Did you get them?"

Tanya continued to stare out the window, as if she didn't hear.

"Hey, Tanya?" Natalie waved her hand. "Did you do it? Did you..." she lowered her voice. "Kill them?"

Tanya rotated her head toward her.

Natalie frowned in confusion. "Well?" she asked.

Tanya slowly shook her head and smiled like a cat with something in her mouth.

"Why not? They're going to kill you, you know. They're going to kill you in the night and drink your blood."

Again, Tanya shook her head left and right.

"Why not?"

Tanya, still smiling, opened her mouth. Two pearl-white fangs dropped from her upper jaw.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Natalie screamed. She fell back, trying to escape her desk, but it tumbled with her.

Everyone watched her sprint out of the classroom, except Patty, who saw Tanya spit out the plastic vampire fangs into her palm.

"That was funny," Patty said. "But now she'll really tell her parents."

"That's fine," Tanya said, "I'll just say it was a joke I thought of."

"She might not be your friend anymore."

"A real friend wouldn't make me kill my parents.

Vampires or not."

"So then you didn't kill them?"

Tanya shook her head. "They're still my parents, no matter who they are. And like my mom said--blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood."